I know you don't know what to say, and that's alright



You know that I hurt, that I'm grieving. But it's awkward for you. I get that.
Maybe you haven't been there, or maybe you were to young to understand or remember. 
You find yourself in an awkward position - you want to be a comfort, but you don't know what to do or say. I know. We've all had our turn being there, not knowing what to do or say, how to respond.

Maybe you stay away, because you don't know if you would be welcome, or even if you were, what you would say. Maybe you reach out, because you have been there, and you know. Maybe you're forced into being there and you offer the best words of comfort that you know how, but it's still awkward, uncomfortable.

But here's the thing - there are no perfect words. Sometimes there are no words at all. 
When death crosses your path, nothing else anyone can say or do will heal your broken heart. And that's okay.

Yes, there are some things that comfort, and some things that sting. But saying the right thing isn't what matters - because what is that right thing, anyway? 

Yes, it's awkward, but that's okay. I get that.
It's okay to be awkward and to not have the perfect words, or all the right answers.

Grief is uncharted territory. Every loss is different, and impacts you differently. Everyone responds differently. 

I look at my own family, and even though we all have this same loss, we all respond differently. We grieve differently. And you know what? Sometimes it's difficult to know how to respond to each other. What to say when, how to comfort, when to let be. 
Sometimes it's awkward, even with those we know best. 

It's okay to not know how to respond. Sometimes, it's best to simply be there, and not say anything. 

But if you want to reach out? Don't let the awkwardness stop you. Because you're not alone. We're all at a loss as to what to say. 

That's how grief is.

Comments

  1. I agree! Honestly, hearing sorry for your loss over and over gets so tiring. But hearing I am here for you never does. Just knowing people care and are there if you need them can mean the world to someone going through harships or heartache.

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